Wife vs. Hubby Is this fair?

My husband has been looking at on my laptop lately. and ever since my doctors visit 3 weeks ago he hasn't wanted to have with me. he also has been looking at his battle buddies sisters on facebook.. I felt like it was okay to bring these issues up, because he has been doing this on my laptop and leaving the web pages open, so i didnt feel like i was being sneaky. So when i asked about the "sister" he got really defensive, and when i told him that i though it was unfair for him to be watching in the bathroom with my laptop when lately i have done everything i can to entice him and he refuses me. Then he ( exaggeratedly) went outside, came back in and yelled " how would you feel if you had to **** a sick ?" (I had symptoms from swollen ovaries before menstration NOT a diseas!! and he knows that.) -- that made me cry because he never talks to me that way. But lately it seems like he doesn't want to be around me. a few weeks before we were watching some animae he likes and i tried to cuddle with him and he pushed away then got in the truck and left. I didnt know what happened but I gave it time, and called him 1 hour later to make sure he was okay. Turns out he was at his buddies barracks. I told him i was going to visit my sisters. and he told me to wait for him. so i did. what should have been a 10 minute drive took him close to an hour and when he got back he didnt appoligize but instead said he took long b/c he had to sobber up.... I really guess he just doesnt like me for whatever reason... he has called me controlling but i asked how i was controlling and he said he just "wants to do whatever he wants". but if i were doing whatever i wanted im sure we would have much of a marriage left. Basically i ume, he wants to smoke ( i dont like him doing that, he does it anyway) he wants to leave and not call or tell me where he is going ( he does that too), and he wants for me to be okay with him looking at other women when i am making myself available. I dont feel like its fair at all.--