Sunday, January 15, 2012

Is this a good short story?

It's kind of funny, and somewhat interesting, but you seem to be trying too hard to sound smart. You used uncommon words when perfectly good common ones were available. I can tell you used a thesaurus. Also, you might want to separate it into more paragraphs. It doesn't really flow. Oh, and vary the sentence length. All of your sentences are long.

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